No, this has nothing to do with writing. Yes, it is almost too good to be true. I will, however, attempt to imbue the post with significant literary style to justify its existence. Midnight Rec: Over the Top Christmas Displays Today, I worked non-stop from 9:00 AM to 4:30 PM putting together Christmas displays. One was for my father, one was for my grandmother. I have painted his damn wood cut-outs for over a month till my fingers ached and did not want to uncurl. He wanted Mr. Magoo's Christmas Carol for the front lawn, pictured here: Pretty nice, right? If a bit excessive? Yeah. What you don't see are the 12+ light up moving Christmas animals, the dancing Santa Clause, the Frosty the Snowman, and the clashing Christmas lights (flickering snowflakes + red bulbs + icicles = profit?) mere inches from the left of the frame. Tacky, no? And my grandmother wanted her LED lights on the awning, her giant second hand Christmas lights on the roof (not placed yet: I don't do ladders taller than five feet, thank you), and her nativity set (new outdoor outlet going in next week to accommodate). I decided to use some nice metallic and glitter shatterproof Christmas ornaments to match the mostly retro feel of the soon to be completed display, here. Intentionally kitschy? You betcha. Done with a wink and a nod to my family's unnatural desire to wear anything with glitter, sequins, and rhinestones? Absolutely. Wait until I add the wire Christmas trees lit from underneath to really make those suckers pop at night. But these pale in comparison to the subject at hand. No, there are people who catch a sickness I call overkilldecoratingitisosis. Sadly, this disease is not recognized by the latest edition of the DSM, but I hope one day to increase awareness of this growing mental health condition. These are the people who think syncing Christmas Carols to every single lighted object available at Home Depot, KMart, WalMart, Target, and Michaels is a good thing. Take, for example, this tragic case. Christmas Lights Crazy Frog Jingle Bells It almost makes you want to cry, if you weren't too busy laughing at the excess. This creator is so embarrassed by his addiction that he has disabled embedding through YouTube to protect his identity. We really must stop mocking these poor fools. There behavior being encouraged has led to commercial units for synchronized lights being available for under $200 at Home Depots, KMarts, and other mass retailers nationwide. We must end this condition now. Please, if you must search for "Christmas Lights Music" on YouTube, do so to educate yourself. Personal experience is important, so I do recommend a quiet, leisurely drive by of your neighborhood Christmas displays, trying to define the line between cute/overkill. Be sympathetic to these poor souls, as they do have the best intentions in mind. They love the holidays so much they want to share the joy with everyone. Unfortunately, just like a freshman going to their first boozefest on campus, they don't know how to control themselves. Please, join the fight to end overkilldecoratingitisosis. Carefully plan out your lawn decorations and exercise caution in design. Otherwise, you may one day wind up on DIY Network claiming more is always better in Christmas decorations, as your yard is overtaken by 12 foot tall wooden soldiers and elves stirring cookie batter.
Labels: Midnight Rec