Seeing a Preview of Nine, or How To Lose Friends and Alienate People on Twitter

I haven't had a Twitter drop this big since I live-twittered the Oscars on a bet from a friend.

Apparently, some might find the message "Suck it! I get to see a preview screening of Nine on Monday. NJ rules!" as, direct quote, a "horrific attitude" or, another direct quote, "blatantly offensive, faggot." Touche, indeed.

But, drops be damned, I'm still seeing Nine on Monday before most of y'all. As per this company's screenings policy, I probably can't actually say a single thing about the movie. I know better than to even try to keep my cellphone or any writing implements on me lest I ruin the entire film economy with a photo or stray note.

The fun part is I wasn't aware that that particular multiplex at a mall was doing preview screenings like this. That's a lie. The fun part was seeing my old friend the intern still doing the exact same job three years later, only outside of NYC. He kept ignoring me as I asked him about the screening, so I had to go to the much ruder guy that "fucking hates this shit."

So, my sincere apologies to those offended by "suck it." I'll be sure to watch my fucking potty mouth because I was raised properly in a drinking Catholic household.

PS: The cursing is because of Orphan. Damn impressionable 23 year old mind being corrupted by one of the best cast horror films I've seen get a wide release in years.

PPS: The twist makes perfect sense in the movie. It's not stupid. It's quite clever and horribly misrepresented on film message boards. The biggest fault is not the twist but the ham-fisted stereotypical quasi-slasher-esque ending, not the twist preceding those events. Even then, it's slick and well made and will probably wind up in many categories on my year end line-up, including Score, Sound Mixing, Cinematography, and probably Supporting Actor for Peter Saarsgard; those Nine bitches be stealing too many slots lest the film is a horrible disaster for Vera Farmiga to waltz into Best Actress and Isabella Furhmar to twist and shout her way into category fraud of Supporting Actress. Shoot, I'd give a second thought to CCH Pounder and Aryana Engier for Supporting Actress and Jimmy Bennet for Supporting Actor.

PPPS: The parts are that baity, my friends, a rarity for the horror genre, especially with children being focused on. Why, that hasn't really happened since...The Bad Seed. Come on, Academy, 10 Best Picture Nominees. If not Coraline, why not Orphan?

PPPPS: No, really, I'm sorry to lose the Twitter followers. I'm also not a jerk, so I'm not going to drop people for dropping me. I only drop prostitutes, amateur porn stars, and spammers.

PPPPPS: I really should have just used footnotes and one PS. Whoopsies.

PPPPPPS: Nine, people. I'm allowed to be excited. I know someone who wants to get in on the action:




Anytime, Jane. Anytime.