Ranking Project Runway: Season 9, Ep. 5

This week, the designers worked in teams of three to create three piece collections inspired by Heidi Klum for New Balance sneakers. They had to incorporate the same suede and denim from the shoes into each design. The result was such a mess that we will never know which teams were on top and which teams were on the bottom. Here are the top 5 moments of the Heidi Klum challenge, plus personal ranking/design commentary and judges' decisions.

Cecilia is Criticized; Quits

She can use whatever excuse she wants to. This is the second time that Cecilia thought the world was going to end because someone didn't like her clothing. The first time happened when the judges asked her questions about her designs in the first episode of the season. Remember how she was convinced she was going home before the contest started because she wasn't immediately praised? The only difference here is that no one had any good news for her related to her designs.

Meanwhile, this situation cements my perception of Becky. She's the Mark Cohen of Project Runway season 9. She sees everything. She's viewed as this non-threatening presence in the room and absorbs everything that's happening.

She woke Cecilia. She found the presents. She didn't stop staring at Cecilia talking to Heidi and Tim. And she's the only one who showed no surprise when Cecilia quit. I can't wait until Becky gets to sing her own version of "Halloween."

Heidi is Better Than You, Backwards and In Heels

You understand that, Bert? Someone in high heels managed to run faster than you. She ran to you on the track from pretty far away. She said she was doing it to keep you company. She wasn't. She was exerting her dominance in the competition. Not only can she step into stilts and out-walk professional stilt-walkers, she can run faster than a 57 year old man while wearing heels and a suit. No matter what you do, Heidi will be better than you. Fact.

Reboot Time

You know how Hollywood keeps deciding that old film franchises need to be "rebooted?" You know, where they pretend that none of the films that came before it actually exist anymore and try to sell you the same story again with new actors and costumes? Heidi is Hollywood and the design teams are the rebooted franchises. No one survives the Klum/Gunn workroom critique. It's a bloodbath.

Bathroom Bonding

Is this actually a Project Runway first? I don't recall a team getting over their fighting at any point in the history of the show in a bathroom stall. It happened last night. After Joshua M decided to put on his Zulema hat and demote Becky to unpaid intern seamstress,

Becky runs to the bathroom. She is rightfully upset. Someone just told her she's a horrible designer and that she's only in the contest because she can sew. So far this season, I've mostly preferred Becky's clothes to Joshua M's. So have the judges.

Regardless, Anya and Joshua M show up for this heartwarming apology.

It's like a fairy tale come to life. Or a really bad episode of The Golden Girls. I can't tell.

Anya Will Kill Them All

Look at sweet and innocent Anya. She's only been sewing for four months. She's the judges' favorite because she's kind, considerate, and has a great eye for fashion. Her skill level is better than many of the designers who have been working professionally for years. She's my unquestionable favorite in the contest for using color and prints.

I have a funny feeling this season of Project Runway will not end pretty. Anya, she of the permanent Miss Universe smile and perfect composure, revealed that she might be the most judgmental contestant in the reading contest known as Project Runway Season 9. Just look at this side-eye she shoots when she realizes that Becky is going to forgive Joshua for being so cruel.

Can we get a close-up on that.

Delicious and fiery seething hatred. Just how I like it. Please make sure that Kimberly, Becky, Tim, and the crew can safely get to the exit before you go all Carrie on the other contestants, Anya. Thanks.

My Ranking:

Individual:

  1. Bryce: simple dress with some interesting side details
  2. Joshua M: cool vest, well-made
  3. Viktor: dress is blah, jacket is cool
  4. Laura: great print, horrible vest, otherwise cute
  5. Becky: great detailing and construction, not very memorable
  6. Danielle: don't like the fit of the top, skirt is fine but boring
  7. Bert: very odd looking, poorly made, at least not boring
  8. Oliver: Crucible: 2011 edition, well made at least
  9. Josh C: pants don't fit properly, boring t-shirt
  10. Kimberly: really unfortunate shorts, very bad fit
  11. Anya: a sleeveless snuggy with a hot pink stripe in the front
  12. Anthony Ryan: sack dress and short combo in shades of gray

Team:

  1. Joshua M
  2. Bryce
  3. Viktor
  4. Anthony Ryan

Judges' Ranking:

Winners: Viktor and Joshua M

Caveat: Joshua M is getting credit for Anya's design. I'm as confused as you are. These two are working together on every challenge and I can't tell who is getting played yet. I think Joshua M is losing out in this partnership.

Out: Danielle

I think the judges made a mistake here. They've flip-flopped season to season on whether or not the person going home is the worst of the weak or the worst of the season so far. It's not fair to designers who had one bad week and were eliminated for Anthony Ryan to get a second chance after the worst outfit on the runway. While I appreciate the final casting element in the first episode to weed out designers that the judges wouldn't like at all, I think it's going to backfire if they keep thinking about it. Last week, Nina mentioned how Michael kept saying Julie was a great designer in spite of failing repeatedly on the runway. This week, Heidi is overruled on sending home the worst romper in the history of the show because Danielle hasn't done anything memorable.

What did you think of the episode? Sound off below in the comments.

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