What You Missed: RuPaul's Drag Race: Season 3, Ep. 4

This week, the girls are challenged to create competing fitness videos and my early favorite contestant is booted for getting too physical. Before the main challenge, Ru gave the girls 30 minutes to create designer leotards with duct tape. Everyone came out looking like a mess, including winners Manilla and Carmen. However, the challenge gave us this delightful action sequence of eleven drag queens racing to a table of colorful duct tape.

Ready, Set, TAPE!!!!

When RuPaul challenged the girls to make fitness videos, 350lb plus size queen Delta Work provided the dictionary shot for "disgust." Looks like my pre-season favorite is starting to deliver.

Delta No Work Out

The first team had two fantastic moments in their fitness video. First, Raja, assuming a stereotypical female body builder persona (complete with basso buffo voice range), taught America how to smash their balls for fitness.

Blast Those Balls

Then, Miss Shangela brought it to the Church with Hallelulahoop. Her mannerisms, inflections, and improvised "Amens" and "Hallelus" from the back-up girls really sold it.

Hallelu!

The second team was mostly boring, but two girls brought it with their exercise segments. First, Yara Sofia played up her natural Puerto Rican accent to unintelligible levels, promising a translation available at the end of the video. She then did a basic Salsa step as her original exercise, channeling Charo on The Surreal Life.

Translation, please

My new favorite, Miss Delta Work, did the Shake and Bake as softcore porn, including this lovely maneuver for girls with enough up there to support the weight during exercise.

Just Shake and Bake

At the judging, Latoya Jackson showed up dressed like a Latoya Jackson impersonator in this classy leopard and purple number. She then babbled incoherently about pretty colors, sparkle, and skin tone. I think X-Factor just found their very own Paula for the permanent judging panel.

Miss Jackson if you're nasty.

For the first time since Season 1, RuPaul and I pick the same winner for the challenge (the last time? Nina Flowers, week 1). Alexis Mateo did solid work on the video (elastic stretcher band combined with applying lip gloss) and nailed it on the runway. Flawless presentation that showed off her best asset: her entire body.

Well Played, Alexis

The Lip Sync for Your Life was finally a show again, but for all the wrong reasons. Mimi Imfurst and India Ferrah were in the bottom two performing to "Don't Leave Me This Way." It started so simple and beautiful, with both girls accidentally doing the same choreography.

Accidental Symmetry

Then things got ugly. Mimi kept pushing India away from the judges with her big old butt. It was funny the first time, then just desperate. So, India ran down the steps to play to the judges. Mimi followed her and hoisted her over her shoulder like a prize hog and dragged her up the steps. India was screaming for help.

Mimi Mad, Mimi Smash!

RuPaul chastised Mimi by saying "Drag is not a full contact sport" before telling India she was safe without other comment. Mimi, so desperate and insane because of this contest, does not even understand why she was kicked out. The girls aren't allowed to fight each other. Period. Mimi was disqualified.

I'm mad at Mimi, too. I think she, more than Stacy Layne Matthews or Delta Work, had a shot of winning this contest. RuPaul picked two glamour girls in a row. There is no way a third Tyra Zahara Benet will win. That means someone like Raja--quasi-gender bender drag--or Shangela--busted but cute--is going to win. It was the season for a campy winner and Mimi got too desperate. She wanted it too much. Tyra Banks herself should watch this four episode arc to learn what "wanting it too much" actually means before chastising the contestants on her show again. Working hard is not desperation; talking to other people like they're a mirror to reaffirm your abilities and reading every other girl for not being as good as you is.