What You Missed: RuPaul's Drag Race: Season 3 Reunion

Escandalo. RuPaul let the girls get into a huge "he said, he said, she said, she said" pissing match about reading. As Raja put it, "reading is fundamental."

As Mariah put it, "it's like a ball player warming up before going on the field. You gotta throw them balls fast before you beat the other team."

As Delta put it, "bitch, please. It's TV."*

Stacy said, "you hurt my feelings." Fair enough. The other queens, Phoenix and Delta aside, were afraid to say anything to her face, so they all said nasty things behind her back in the confessionals. Raja made nice by offering a token of peace to Stacy, but you can't take back every girl in the contest (except Yara and Alexis) cutting her down again and again every episode.

Mimi said, "Wokka wokka, y'all ain't worth it."**

Michelle Visage said, "Bitch, please."***

And Mariah did her best Bebe Zahara Benet impersonation. Sickening, no?

Turning it.

Yara brought her best alien couture for the reunion and was voted Miss Congenialty. Too bad a big fat check was replaced with a vacation in the Bahamas. Maybe she can scalp the prize on eBay for some spending money.

No check?

Until next season, America, remember to be a lady. Sickening, no? Work. Bam. Escho pa lante. Heather. And Halleloo like it's your last chance to impress America. The library is closed. And...I think that covers all the big catch phrases from the season. I hope. I can't take much more than that.

*Paraphrase, but the eyerolling and cheek-sucking delivery makes it clear that was her intent.

**Paraphrase, but her presentation of an "I got picked up by Mimi Imfurst and all I got was this lousy t-shirt" in a size too small for India was all I needed to see to know her true intentions.

***Paraphrase, but her and Delta had the same exact story when Alexis came at them.

Does The Voice Measure Up?

Cannonball Read III: Book 7: Budget Travel through Space and Time by Albert Goldbarth